It's funny when you enter into a relationship and the questioning that comes along with every step of that relationship. Dating-When are you getting engaged? Engaged-When is the wedding? Married-When are you having a baby? These questions are totally understandable and I am guilty of asking them of my friends, but now I am having a chance to reflect as I have entered the 'third phase'.....when are you having a baby?
When Chris and I got engaged, we really wanted to enjoy that moment in our life because it is a chance to celebrate the relationship and take time to plan an event that truly represents who you are as a couple. The wedding went by in a matter of hours and now everyone is in a rush to find out when the kids are popping out. What happened to enjoying your time as a couple and having the opportunity to experience life together?? So much pressure is put on the process of marriage and starting a family and I'm not sure why everyone is in such a crazy rush. After our wedding we agreed that we didn't want to bring up the idea of having a baby until we had been married a year. (Let me add a side note here.....this is our opinion and not what I think everyone else should be doing. Every couple is different and I truly believe each person should do what is right for them.) So, we celebrated our first anniversary and naturally the question of starting a family came up. We had a crazy first year of marriage with the show and traveling and I wouldn't change a single moment. But, we are still enjoying the ability to travel as we please and to take advantage of opportunities that are sent our direction.
My mind goes back to college and living the single life. I always wanted to live in the moment and experience everything I possibly could at that place and time. It was my chance to be selfish and to only worry about myself. Now, I want to live in the moment with my husband and to be selfish in a different way with him. Is that so bad?? Expanding our family will be a huge decision and we need to be ready to commit to the fact that our lifestyle will change. I think everyone is aware of my only child syndrome and I am still getting used to sharing a bed with another person! I'm learning to share and I'm still learning that I don't always get my way. So with that said....I'm throwing any sort of planning out the window. What is meant to be will be and I will roll with the punches. (Chris will say this is not a phrase that ever comes out of my mouth.) I don't typically roll with the punches. I am a planner and I am fairly OCD in making sure there is a plan in place. I get this from my mother. Chris drives me crazy because he is about as opposite from me as possible in this capacity. He NEVER makes a plan. EVER. Which is good at times because as I have said before, marriage is about balance and compromise. But for real, you think we are going to just walk into a very popular restaurant at 7:00pm without reservations and it's all going to be fine? Just make a reservation.....why is that hard?
With the family planning topic, I just need to be mentally prepared for how our life will change. I have seen friends who get pregnant immediately, some who got pregnant by accident and others who have struggled through every effort of trying to conceive. This is the reason for throwing out the plan. I have no idea what our experience will be. I would like to say that we will have 3-4 children close in age and that things will be smooth sailing. But it's time to enter the reality of the situation and that's looking like we have to roll with the punches and take it as it comes. I find it so ironic that women try so hard not to get pregnant, then when many are ready to start a family it's near impossible to get pregnant. So many of my friends have experienced this and it makes me think about what my experience will be. Everyone is different. My grandmother had my father and his twin brother at age 45 so crazier things have happened. She was a saint....identical twin boys at 45. So, maybe I will follow in her footsteps.....hopefully before I'm 45.
|Jimmy and Charlie|
Until the 'right' time comes along I think it's time to get a dog! We have been looking at Swiss Mountain Dogs. My parents have two Newfoundlands, who are huge and so lovable. I wanted a Bernese Mountain Dog because they don't drool like the Newfies, but Chris wasn't thrilled about all that hair. So that's what brought us to the Swissy. Let me know your thoughts if you have experience with them and if you know of a breeder in New England that you would recommend. I'm already picking out names....all southern of course because I know I will lose that battle when it comes to kids names.
|Gabby and Lillie at Christmas|